His Father Explained

His name is Vincent. So yes, his name already says a lot about him. He doesn’t have money, he has cents…in the form of coins.
 
When he walks around, the clinking sound that the coins make makes people think he works as a prison warden.
 
Vincent wishes he was named Bill instead, bills come with a lot of money. It’s a name that speaks of wealth.
 
He comes from a sad place, that is sadder than a fat kid on a forced diet. Everything about the place reeks of ineffective parental guidance, late Friday night sins and softcore poverty.
 
Do you have a paralysed parent?

Maybe they broke their legs after they got drunk and continuously jumped on a concrete pavement until they fractured their bones. They mistook the pavement for a jumping castle.
 
Vincent has a paralysed father. His father got drunk and swallowed wet cement.

He was a contestant at an eating competition when he was eleven years old. The wet cement dried in the body and remained in it.
 
Doctors told his young father he needed to drink as much water as possible so that the cement would get wet once it made contact with the water.

That way, it would be easier for the cement to just slowly slide down the butt-gate like a pregnant snail sliding down an already slippery tree branch.
 
However, there were fears of the wet cement blocking his father’s butt’s exit door since wet cement is thick.
 
It is thick, alright. It is thicker than a Pakistani beard.
 
 His eleven-year-old father was warned by the doctors that if this method was applied, he could suffer from permanent constipation.
 
On account of the cement blocking Vincent’s father’s basement, the poop that was meant to get out of the body would remain in the rectum, which is like the exact last internal part of the human body that sees off the poop.
 
The poop would be acting like illegal immigrants who refuse to leave the country. To top it off, the illegal immigrants live at the border.
 
His young father weighed the issues at stake and decided to leave the cement in his body.

The doctors complied with his wish and pecked a shallow tunnel in the cement for his father’s respiratory and alimentary systems to avoid being compromised.
 
The tunnel ended at the rectum.
 
Over the years, the cement hardened, leaving his father paralysed. He cannot control his back anymore.

He just lays there motionless but breathing, like a person who is buried alive by thugs.
 
This is why Vincent decided to avoid alcohol at all costs. It ruins lives and paralyses people.
 
 
 
Anyway, Vincent can manage to break his father’s rules. He knows he won’t chase him down the street with a belt.

Sure, he threatens Vincent with words like, “If you cross me one more time, I swear on Hitler’s moustache I will hit your head so hard, the resulting pain will outlive Queen Elizabeth!”
 
However, Vincent knows actions speak louder than words and women.