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Gentlemen, and boys among men. Imagine living with a woman that you’re married to, and this woman has a publicly known condition that she’s not yet allowed by some cultural law to engage in sexual intercourse until she’s 35 years old.
How did your wife reach the streets, you ask? A functioning society has gossip as its media. If gossip was a TV news station, societal loudmouths would be the news anchors.
The woman that you’re married to…is 26 years old.
You feel like the biblical Jacob…he had to work for years to finally get…
We Interrupt This Broadcast to give you the Brain Rush!!
“Look, all I’m saying is this. The Bible mentions sex… multiple times. So my point is, the guys that wrote the Bible were not virgins, because they wrote about sex so accurately and perfectly.”
End of Brain Rush!!
…
Sorry about that. The “Brain Rush” is a sudden epiphany in my head that can’t wait for the next article. Therefore, it hacks into the current narrative and interrupts the…
We Interrupt This Broadcast to give you the Brain Rush!!
“No, Mom!! How many times do I have to tell you? That’s not a used condom!! That’s just a small plastic bag that got soaked up in my laundry!!”
End of Brain Rush!!
Oh, my God! What the hell is going on? What’s going on? What is happening to my mind?
Aaaaaaaaaaah….!!!
We Interrupt This Broadcast to give you the Brain Rush!!
🎶Who lives in a crackhouse under the sea!!
🎶Spongebob’s best friend!!
🎶Shirtless and unemployed is he!!
🎶🎶Spongebob’s best friend!!
End of Brain Rush!!
Am I going crazy?
We Interrupt This Broadcast to give you the Brain Rush!!
“Damn it!! The plan to murder my ex-girlfriend has miserably failed. Time for the next plan – Plan 87. I call it “Death By Ax Swing”.
“After all, there’s “ax” in ex-girlfriend and ax. Sometimes the universe leads your path through grammar.”
End of Brain Rush!!
Aaaaaaargh!! I’m turning purple!! Aaaaaaaaa!!!! I look like Barney’s hairy cousin!!
Aaaaaaa!!…
We Interrupt This Broadcast to give you the Brain Rush!!
“Every time my father yells at me, I smile at him. After he leaves my face littered with his saliva spits, I take one of his shoes and grab a stray cat with full-blown diarrhea. I don’t need to tell you what happens next. You all know.”
End of Brain Rush!!
Hmmm. Did I drink too much alcohol last night? I only drink alcohol when I’m thirsty, and my mouth always has summertime thirst…come rain or thunder.
I’m saving water by drinking alcohol!! As far as I’m concerned, drinking alcohol is environmentally friendly.
Therefore, Dad, by attacking my so-called drinking problems, you’re actually saying you hate the environment!!
We Interrupt This Broadcast to give you the Brain Rush!!
Dad: You!!
Me: Ye…s?
Dad: Who ate my dinner leftovers?
Me: It wasn’t me.
Dad: What did you say?!!
Me: It wasn’t me!!
Dad: Open your mouth. I want to smell it!!
Me: I’m not doing that, are you crazy?
Dad: Open your mouth, damn it!!….. Damn, your smell puts the double “T” in rotten!!
Me: Duh, it’s called morning breath.
Dad: Damn, this is your morning breath!! Were you a caveman in your dreams or something?
End of Brain Rush!!
Guys, does anyone have a mouthwash black market dealer on speed dial?
Muddy Gags 